What Makes Me Happy?

That should not be a question.  It should be the title of a post that sports a list a la Julie Andrews in ‘The Sound of Music’.  My husband and I got into a married couple argument today.  I won’t lie, it is no_41064814_andrews1_bodyapt the first time that we have had the exact same argument.  One of his main points was that I (meaning me) am not happy because I do not do things for myself that make me happy.  My main retort has always been that I don’t feel that I can ‘do things’ because if I set time aside for that, the world will fall apart…or in reality the house will be messy, coffee cup rings will appear on every surface of the house and faeries will pop up and write their names in the dust on the tables.  The worst part about this argument today…he is right…at least about the happy things part…everything else he was wrong about, but I digress.

What is worse is that I am not sure what activity would make me happy.  When I said I need a clean house for my sanity, he said it wasn’t the same thing.  I fought tooth and nail about this.  I really did believe that would make me happy.  I have now been thinking about it all day and he was right, it’s not enough.  I need something to do.  I need something to take my mind of of constantly worrying what I am not getting done that should get done.  I think it needs to be outside the house.  If I am in the house I will be worried about cleaning the milk drips of the refrigerator shelves.  Maybe someday I can be disciplined enough to do something like that in the house but probably not right now.

I already know one thing I am going to do.  I am going to go back to yoga.  Even though I did it for years I am out of practice and the style I practice is not really available in classes close by and I NEED classes.  So, I am going to try a new style that is close to what I was doing before but I am going to start at the beginning with a series of 101 classes next month.  I can get my posture and alignment back and hopefully build my core back up to support my weak back.  That’s two days per week.  Doable.

I need more though.  I haven’t thought about it in such a long time.  Ever since I stopped playing football, there hasn’t been anything there like it.  I am not going back to that.  I am 40 with a bad back and a penchant for sleeping in on weekends.  I guess I need to try some new things so that is what I am going to do.  Every week I am going to try something new or at least something I have not done in a long time and do it completely and wholly.  I think that means I am going to try hard not to worry that the dust has names in it or that the coffee mug rings are overlapping and just concentrate on something else for awhile.  This is not going to be easy but I hope it will be fun.