My Island: Fourteen Reasons Why

For those of you not familiar with the “My Island” concept please refer to my older posts by clicking on the “My Island” label at the bottom of the post. There are five I believe.

The short of it is, certain people annoy me to the point that I banish them to an island where they are to live their life out among others that annoy me. There they cannot harm the rest of us with their politics, their stupidity or their general annoying nature. Here is a list of current residents:

On the island:

Ann Coulter

Rick Santorum (escaped and captured)

Brittany Spears

Amy Winehouse

Lindsay Lohan

Elisabeth Hasselbeck

My newest addition deserves to be there almost as much as Ann Coulter. Look in the dictionary under the word ‘selfish’ and this woman’s picture will be there. She has dragged her whole family down with her and still continues to defend herself on primetime and any media outlet that gives her fifteen minutes. That’s right, it’s Octo-mom, Nadya Suleman.

I held off on sending her to the island for 14 reasons. Her kids. This topic “My Island” is all in good fun but when I was putting this post together I started thinking about what will happen to those kids, even if their horrible mother was around. I struggled with even sending her…until today.

Today my first assumptions about why this woman decided to turn her ‘vagina into a clown car’ (props to Cherlyn for that phrase) were verified. She is panhandling via the internet. Yes, the woman who said she was never on welfare or accepted government money for having all those kids is asking YOU to support them via donations on the internet (not like you aren’t going end up supporting them via your taxes or anything). Oh, she also lied about the not accepting $$ from the government, she is on food stamps. Excellent. I am not providing you with the link to said site because as you bloggers know, the more traffic she gets the more $ she gets. This is what she wanted all along. She decided to have multiples to cash in on the books, reality tv and bleeding hearts. She neglected to realize that those that DO have reality tv shows, etc because of their large family sizes did not TRY to have large families in order to GET a tv reality show. She did it backwards. Oh…she is also crazier than Jim Jones but just as self-centered.

I decided that she was done. She needs to be removed from the population NOW. I am worried that she and Rick Santorum might try to start a new race so precautions will need to be taken. Rick will need to be castrated. This will be performed by Ann Coulter. She agreed to do this as long as we provided her with a newsfeed of C-SPAN and a voo doo doll. I let her also pick the method of castration.

So Nadya will be welcomed with open arms by the other crazies that are there and we will not have to watch her pimp her children out to the world anymore. I think that is just lovely.

Now…the kids. What to do with the kids. While we are on the subject, what about the other kids of the inhabitants?

Tune in Monday for my “My Island” spin off. “What About the Kids?”

On the island:

Nadya Suleman
Ann Coulter
Rick Santorum (escaped and captured and neutered)
Brittany Spears
Amy Winehouse
Lindsay Lohan
Elisabeth Hasselbeck