I feel like this has been done before. I wrote a post called “Somebody That I Used to Know” about myself and now Mama Kat has gone and suggested writing a post TO “Somebody That I Used to Know.” I really don’t want to pass it up because I could totally go all Alanis Morissette on a few people’s asses. I say asses but I really meant Alanis in that song where she wrote short letters to former boyfriends and it was very sweet for the most part, I would only go all “You Oughtta Know” on one person.
So in the spirit of Alanis (who by the way I was going to name my first girl after, when I was still thinking of having kids because it is a cool name and it also would have been an homage to my Dad, Alan) I am going to write a few short blurbs to Somebodies I Used to Know:
Dear Somebody That I Hurt: I did not realize at the time that I was not supposed to find the love of my life in High School. Most people don’t. When I found someone new when I went away, I didn’t know how to tell you so I ended up hurting you instead. When I ran into you many years later in REI and gave you a hug. I felt like such a jerk afterwards considering that the last time we spoke was over the phone, 600 miles apart at the very end of our relationship. I am sorry for that.
Dear Somebody That Defended Our Country: We didn’t work out and we parted on decent terms. What I really want you to know is that I am proud to have known someone who was defending our country. We lost touch and I still hope that you are out there and doing well.
Dear Somebody That Taught Me To Get My Redneck On: Thank you for giving me one of the most fun and carefree summers of my life. I learned I didn’t need a lot to have a really good time; 4-wheelin’, innertubin’ in a pond, canoeing. You taught me to yard sale! You had a good, fun-loving heart and I will always remember that.
Dear Somebody That Taught Me the Hard Way: It took a long time but I realized that it never would have worked between us. We were together a long time but, I needed more, deserved more than I got from you. I always thought your love was more important than mine, more valuable. That never would have worked in the long run. I do hope you are happy and hear that you are.
Dear Somebody That Taught Me I Deserved More: If you had not taught me that I probably would not be here today. We did not end up together and I need you to know that the reason is that you deserved more than I had to give at the time. Please find it because it is out there for you.
Dear Jerk: You are a jerk and there is no redemption for you out there. Seriously, nothing more needs to be said. This particular grudge will never, ever go away. All I learned from you was how to duck.
So there you have it. Those are all to a few Somebodies That I Used to Know. I seriously doubt any one of them will read this so It was not difficult to do. If they did, they would know who they were. Only the jerk would get himself confused with another person on here and I am not entirely sure he is very literate.
There are probably more out there I could have mentioned but this post has gone on pretty long and I have a hot cup of tea waiting for me. I figure that tonight I am going to most likely be visited by boyfriends past in my dreams so a good dose of Sleepytime should keep me from talking too much in my sleep….you know, since I sleep next the the Wonderful Person I Know Now.
*Friends – feel free to try to connect the letters with the names and email me with it. There might be a prize.